It is 6.26am and my alarm for work will go off in 4 minutes. But I am already awake. Robin woke up before 6am so whilst daddy went and made a feed I had a quick cuddle with him.
I decided to go back to bed for a little bit but was lured into checking my social media rather than get some shut eye. It is the 1st September today and I already notice a difference in the morning light. It seems darker than normal this morning in the bedroom as autumn starts to creep in.
As I lie in bed I am quickly taken back to days before Robin, when you would wake up for work but still be feeling tired. Wrapped up in the warm duvet thinking “can I lie here a bit longer?”
My nerves start to creep in. Today I am going to work, but only for a keeping in touch day. This is my first day of work since January! So much has changed since I left, it is almost a new team and a new office.
I am worried my brain won’t click into gear. Am I capable of conversations other than what colour was Robin’s poo and what he had for lunch?!
I almost don’t want to go which is weird as I have been looking forward to going to work again. But something feels different now that reality has hit.
As I get ready for the day Robin is going through his usual morning routine. Nappy change, milk and back to sleep. I can’t help but go in and see him a few more times before I leave. This is the first time I have left Robin all day. It is strange to think I won’t see him until it is almost his bed time. It is also the first time daddy will spend all day looking after Robin.
As I faff around with how to wear my new dress I bought from Sainsbury’s in a panic for £12.50 I can’t help but think I look like a Babushka doll. Make up out and lippie on it is time to head off.
As I get to work and walk through the grounds it is almost as if time has stood still. I approach my new office space and begin to realise how many new faces there are. I used to know who everyone was but now I almost feel like the newbie.
First things first I need a coffee, make it hot and strong. Then it is time to sift through the 2,308 emails I have been sent. From there the rest of the day flowed. Before I knew it, it was 2pm and I hadn’t had lunch. I had been so busy drinking cups of hot coffee (a luxury for any parent) and having various meetings to find out how people had been and what was happening that time literally flew past. It was a beautiful day so I grabbed a sandwich from a cafe and ate outside in peace.
Daddy kept me updated through the day with photo updates and had even managed to get Robin to have two 1.5 hour naps! I am never that successful on the nap front.
As the end of the day approached I almost felt like I was starting to slide back in to being at work. Yes the people and building had changed but the overall environment was the same. In retrospect why was I even nervous about going in at all?
The best thing from today was reassurance. Yes I can go back and be able to do my job and now once again I feel familiar.
So with my keeping in touch date under my belt I can start to enjoy the rest of my maternity leave. Enjoy my days with Robin but most of all cherish our morning cuddles and nap, by far my favourite time of the day.
Did you have keeping in touch days at work? How did you find them?